May 30, 2020

How Can I Love My Man?

HOW CAN I LOVE MY MAN? Things to do.

Loving a man is not an easy thing. Whether he's your husband or the boyfriend you're falling for, it's important to know how to make your man feel emotionally and physically satisfied while staying true to yourself at the same time. If you want to truly love a man, then you've got to know how to make him feel loved and appreciated while also respecting his independence and also your own. 
How can I love my man

These are the recipes on how to love your man. Let us start with this..

1. RECIPROCATE 
As a lady, make efforts for your man too, go miles for him, in as much he does for you too. Ask him how his day went, don't just wait until he talks. Saying since you don't talk I'm not asking any fucking questions. Stop those childs play, ask him what went wrong during the day.

Love him hard as well, unless you're with that guy for sare wagba, or due to some things maybe unknown to me, love him as jesus loves the church, and spice it up erotically😁.

2. PATIENT 
And to add to this, be patient with him, men are human and equally emotional. Be patient and also be reasonable, not everytime drama with fast and furious voice. Do and calm down lady, learn to exercise this, if you really want to love that guy.. Reciprocate all these.

3. FREEDOM 
Give him this freedom to do the things that he likes. Don't box him or chock him to the neck. If he's acting in a way you don't like, call him to order and talk about it, not just talk to him in a nagging way, it won't change anything, and he will definitely go ahead doing those things you still don't like. But remember, if he truly loves you, he won't do things that will hurt you.  


He has a life to live sweetheart, so don't choke him and don't take that away from him. You're not his own world, he's a separate entity, but you're part of his world. So give room for that partnership to flow without rancor.

4. UNDERSTAND HIM
Remember he will never be perfect, because he's not a perfect being. So don't expect perfection from him.
So, at some point he will be inconsistent, and sometimes impatient, just chill for one corner, just smile and keep mute, sip your drinks.


You will agree with me, that sometimes it will hard for him to handle your moodswing, he's likely to get angry at you sometimes, and his mood too can change as well. Reason is that, he's not also perfect,  so have this at the back of your mind and prepare yourself to understand him.
How can I love my man

5. RESPECT HIM
You have to respect him, does not matter the age difference, level or rank you are. Respect is reciprocal, and it should also be mutual.
So respect his choices and decisions. When you're not please with any of his decisions, have a place of togetherness, and have a good approach to handle and sort things out amicably.


At times, your man might go on, to do those things at your back, but when it backfires, next time he tends to respect your take too. Give him the respect that he deserves, even when you dim fit why should I.

Must Read;
LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; All You Need To Know Before Going Into A Relationship.

6. GIVE ATTENTION 

Like you, he needs your attention too, same way you think you deserve them. Don't get too busy for your man, or don't give those I want to make my self unavailable, putting on moody attitudes and I won't pick up his calls saga so he can miss me and know my worth. Mummy wa, ko necessetry now.

7. REASSURANCE 
He just need your reassurance as well the's the only one for you. Let this be a daily thing, because men most time keep to themselves and lot flows through their minds, when he talks and when he doesn't,  reassure.


This will negate him having a feeling of doubt towards you, because the attention and care is embedded here. And babe, don't give him reasons to doubt you. Don't act like me too have gotten guys chasing me up, talking romantically with them on or off their presence, let me do my thing in my own way thing... But o wrong now, you don't need it. 

8. ACCEPT HIS IMPERFECTIONS:
There will never be a perfect man same applicable to woman. At some point, you will get disappointed and upset because he didn't behave or become that man you expect him to be.
Lolz😁😁, this do cause lot of kasala, but sister,  calm down and handle this with care.
Just because you love him you should accept every bits of him, not the bad and toxic behaviour though. But if you think that man worth the risk, keep him, no perfect individual out there.

Sometimes,  we want to be understand so much , that we forget to understand men as well. Take your time to know the man you're in love with.
If you're a lover of the bible/Quran, study and meditate on him, same way you do to those scriptures. And if you're the jayejaye lady, all those strength you put on your paparazzi, channel it on him to know him more too.

Click and Read;
What Ladies That Prefer Married Men Should Know.

As a lady, try to learn about some secret obsession every man has inside of him. Learn more about this and start creating strong and long lasting relationships with your man.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Timmy Offering♤♧
In Relationship be Vigilant, conscious and careful @ OTR

Follow us on FB, Instagram/Twitter @offeringsthought

May 25, 2020

LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; All you need to know before going into a Relationship.

LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE DATING. 


We are not new to the word relationship..
Even a Neonate and toddler if asked, can tell you one or more salient things about relationship.

Relationship can made you whole and can destroy one life.. depending on how you handle it and things you know about it in order to stabilise it.
And we all know life itself as what we re on earth to live with.. what our goals and focus should be is all we want to achieve in life.
Life before relationship

So if care is not taken. If one missed it in marriage relationship, then it can affect ones life for ever. And you will agree, the choice of your partner has a long way to go, in you also making it in life.
But this days.. majority of youth or people are not even after the productive life of a thing... all they think or want is just the relationship, some think since I'm old enough or I'm done with secondary school.. I can date, I can have a lover and things should start from there.

The priority of an individual is productive life first, getting to know your goal and passion. Know who you are first, what are your weaknesses and your strengths, your personality and your temperament, your zodiac signs and lot more.
Although falling in love is easy, perhaps too easy, relationships take work.

A lot of work. It's nice to think that you can sail through them with the same ease that you sailed through the falling in love process.

There is some very important groundwork you should lay before getting into a relationship with someone,"

In other words, there are things you want to cover in order to get that groundwork laid down securely. So exactly what should you do before you get into a relationship with someone, that is if you want to make it last?

Read This Article:
Wrong Criteria For Choosing A Partner; Know Them.

From timing and expectations to evaluating your religious identity and leaving the past behind, lot of salient keys to understand before you get into a relationship with someone.

Get your priorities right, your education is far more important, don't risk it for a relationship, because education is part of your life.

Don't be sway away by relationship and fail your preferred courses in school.

Don't allow puberty infatuation lead you astray.
When you get it right first with yourself ,the so-call partner will locate you and the chemistry will flow well than what you even least expect at first.

If you think getting into a relationship will make you “whole” or “complete,” think again.

So many people enter into a relationship thinking the other person will have the ability to make them happy, when in reality happiness starts from within.
If you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship get your self a life that worth emulating first.

Firstly, you must understand the magnitude of a relationship. 

Let me break it down: what it is and what it means for you.
Then you have to do some real soul searching:
👐Are you ready for the sacrifices,
👐the energy, and effort.
👐 Once you’ve done all of that, the last thing you should do is make room in your life for them.
👐Get rid of the habits, lingering situations, and friends who won’t be conducive to your relationship.

Yes, relationships are cute. You get to face every adversity and tackle every one of life’s puzzles with a partner.

But in turn, that comes with certain compromises to the current life as you know it.

It’s easy to get so enthused about the idea of a relationship that we don’t take into account the shift our actual lives go through.

Our hearts may be ready for a relationship, but that does not always mean our lives are.

Long distance, a demanding workload, school — there are countless oppositions to a relationship that is out of our control.
But it is our responsibility to evaluate our lives in a way to make that responsible decision.

But all this narrowed down to when you have search and gotten yourself right too, your purpose and goal on track, if not fulfilled.
Why try and force a relationship when you know you don’t even have time to commit to owning a time to even your self or fulfillment of life it self?

Furthermore, we have to honestly assess our motivations.

What’s more of a priority to you, her or that work position?

You can really want something with that guy or lady, but will you resent the time it takes away from studying for that CPA exam? Or your work or the your goal finding?

For you to be successful your timing is necessary, so it's not only about the relationship but about the time to balance things.

Yes, going into a relationship with this special person would be the right thing to do. But there are certain factors you need to note before starting out.
Let us give in rapt attention here...👐👐

1. Become Who You Want to Be.

Step one is to ask yourself if you are the person you wanted to be growing up. What attitudes do you admire in other people?
What are your personal weaknesses? Make a list if you have to of all the personality traits you would like to have and get to work cultivating them. Practice makes perfect.

Its is called working on one self..that is the first life an individual should know and get
If you dont do this, failing or heartbreak is inevitable in that relationship.

2. Become Self Aware.

How do your actions affect others? What are some things that you need to work on?
Try to do this without being too critical. Outside of a relationship, what kind of person are you? What kind of partner are you when you’re in a relationship?

These questions are important to ask before you enter something serious. Knowing yourself inside and out will only help build a better foundation with your partner. It’s not just about getting to know another person, it’s about getting to know yourself too.

3. Create an Amazing Life

If you aren’t excited about the life you are living why would anyone else want to be a part of it?
Do things that make you happy and get you excited for each new day. Find things to look forward to and share them with the people around you. Make your life looks like enough fun. If you're a boring individual why will you also go for someone boring too, get to equipped that life, read books, attend seminars that that boost you up and help your life..
Life before relationship

4. Pursue Your Passions  and Make Them a Priority

It’s incredibly helpful to already be on the path of pursuing your passions when you enter a relationship.

I count myself among the lucky few who have a clear career path and life goals in mind and am in the process of obtaining them.
But we all know that life doesn’t necessarily work that way. Whether you are in the midst of working towards your goals, or just discovering what they are, or just pursue them on the side for personal gratification, whatever makes you tick should not be pushed aside when you enter a relationship, or at any point during the course of it.

When the “we” mentality starts to take over it’s easy to put your passions, desires, and dreams, on hold. Don’t!

It’s completely doable to find a healthy balance. Whatever you were passionate about before you entered your relationship is still there, having a partner just adds an amazing person to your corner to cheer you on. And, if they don’t support your dreams and passions, they are not worth your time.

A Must Read;
How To Resolve Difficult Issues With Your Partner.

5. Inclined with passion is Goals.
It’s not enough to know what your goals are. You’ll want to have an actionable plan when it comes to achieving them. The right partner will help you achieve those goals, but you knowing those goals is the pivotal thing my dear.

Sometimes your aspirations can get lost in the mix of a new relationship if care is not taken.

6. Leave the Past in the Past or check your baggage

Everyone has had things happen to them that they would rather forget, but not everyone has baggage. Memories only become baggage if you dwell on them and refuse to move on.

What are you holding onto? How does it affect your ability to love and be loved? The common saying, “check your baggage at the door” is often easier said than done.

Your past traumas, experiences, and relationships absolutely affect your current one. Healing isn’t linear, and even if you know how these experiences affect you, sometimes it’s still difficult to leave them out of your current equation.

Learn to let go of the people who are no longer in your life and forget the ones who let you down. Move on and set your sights on the horizon. Move on, don't look at the family past, or how your parents relationship ended or not glowing or if it's about someone close by.

Remember we all got different journeys and life. Your life is different, so also is your relationship life.

7. Get Organized.

When you feel like you are in control of your life you will be more confident and more attractive. Organize everything. Be self confident, bold and courageous. Take care of yourself and look cute and lovely. If you get little apartment, make them look neat and dope, the little things or clothes you get, make them ironed and look gorgeous.

Trim down your friends list too. Those who are not productive to your life, let them go.

No one wants to be in a relationship with a panicky scatterbrain and dull individual, spice your speech up and things about you. Get it together, man/woman.

8. Learn to Accept Other People
One of the toughest things you learn in life is that other people don’t exist to satisfy your expectations of them. Accept other people for who they are and learn to embrace their flaws.

A good relationship is one where both people can feel comfortable and at home. Judging people is a great way to get them headed for the door.

9.Timing to go into relationship.  
Be convince enough to, discern wisely, get to know that person.

Have you attained something reasonable? What are the things that relationship will fetch you, and what are the things you're ready to give too.? Dont just go into relationship because waoo, she has boobs, chaiii ukwu, or I love the beard gengs guy.. 😂😂😂
Also on Time
Relationships take time. Getting to know someone takes time. If you are in the middle of a college degree and working part-time, or if you are in the midst of a strenuous career, you might not have the extra hours to dedicate to getting to know someone.

This may well be one of the most important factors in letting someone into your life.

This point please 🕺🕺

10.Improve Your Communication Skills.

Another skill that benefits all aspects of your life. Sometimes relationships are awkward and you have conversations that leave you wanting to open mouth anywhere else than that moment.

Being able to communicate your wants, needs, and what can be improved are the building blocks of a healthy, lasting relationship. Lack of communication creates rifts of misunderstanding and sometimes puts your wants and needs on the back burner.

Being able to articulate clearly what exactly you mean is an admirable trait, and will create a strong foundation to any relationship, not just romantic.

So before I go..
Brother and sister in the Lord.😂Lovers of boo and bae.
Build yourself a solid foundation that will attract life and souls, have self grooming, let those vision and purpose, dreams be on your map. Start a work on them.

Don't let anyone sway you away with I love you, I love you thing.. ask some salient questions on dates, get yourself some reasonable standards and principles so when the right person cross your path. You will know them..

In Relationship be Careful, Watchful and Vigilant @OTR
Follow us on Instagram/Twitter/FB @offeringsthought

May 6, 2020

MASTURBATION; What you need to know, it effects and way out

MASTURBATION; What you need to know, it effects and way out.

Masturbation is fondling your genitals consistently to achieve orgasm. Ladies may stroke their clitoris while guys rub, massage or caress their penis.

Masturbation is completely wrong and not the way out. Most marriage is suffering because of result gotten from Masturbation....

I have few persons here that can't do without masturbate one of them a matured lady I love them and am working out things to kill that pleasure...I like there boldness telling me.

Do you know why I said it's bad?

👉 For ladies, while inserting all manner of objects, you may mistakenly deflower yourself and also introduce infection into your genitals and womb. It will be very difficult to convince your future partner that you never had sex with man except objects during your solo sex.

👉 You kill your ability to enjoy sex in future. Millions of women don't enjoy sex in marriage which leads to sexual frustration, adultery, lesbianism and feminism. If you are used to getting orgasm by yourself, you won't be able to get it from your husband. If you are used to objects in your private part, you won't have feelings for your husband's penis.

You will always think of something harder, bigger, longer, larger and completely unrealistic! Women who complain their husbands' penis are too small didn't marry as virgins. They must have been promiscous as singles..

👉 You will not have a good sex life as a man. You will experience pre-mature ejaculation and your wife won't enjoy you leading to acute sexual frustration in marriage. You need self control to fully enjoy sex and give your wife maximum sexual pleasure. A woman enjoys sex when the man can go on for at least 7 minutes before ejaculating.

 Because you are used to instant release from masturbation, you may not be able to go more than a minute before exploding leaving your wife completely unsatisfied and frustrated. She may close up, become frigid and stop having sex altogether which may lead to you having an affair, she having an affair or both of you having an affair.

Self control before marriage helps you enjoy sex to the maximum. You are able to delay ejaculation, go on for a long time and have excellent orgasm while giving your wife pleasure too. That is why total virginity pays!

👉 If you do not suffer premature ejaculation, you may have serious problem with delayed/ retarded ejaculation.
A situation where you get erection for several hours without ejaculation or orgasm. What is the benefit of sex without orgasm? Rough masturbation with your hands kills your ability to feel/enjoy sex with your wife. It is hell for a woman to be under a man who thrusts in for hours unable to ejaculate.
How will the woman get pregnant? It's the reason some women are seemingly "barren" and can't talk to anybody out of embarrassment. Thrusting hard for so long leaves the woman sore, frustrated and hating sex altogether.

You have so much to lose sexually when you masturbate. Abstaining from this degrading act helps you feel relaxed, confident, have normal sexual intercourse and enjoy the pleasures that comes with sex IN MARRIAGE!

Read More on;
[For Ladies] Vagina Care: How To Care For It And Why You Must Not Neglect It


Consequences Of Masturbation.

👉 You start having sex in the dream with a known or unknown person (demonic entities other wise known as spiritual spouse).

👉 You feel drained, dirty, empty, useless and powerless after each act.

👉 You start getting unsatisfied and wants the real thing. You fantasize more about sex and start longing for the real act.

👉 You get a warped view of the opposite sex. You see them as sexual objects and start having sex with anything in skirt or trousers -you become promiscous.

👉 You get damaged, hurt and broken.

These and more are the consequences of masturbation. They damage you and shatter you to pieces!
Masturbation; what you need to know, it effects and way out

A MUST READ;
Wrong Criteria For Choosing A Partner; Know Them

What then should you do with your sexual urge? How do you handle the constant hunger for sex?


1. Avoid all dirty pictures, pornography videos, pictures and hot, romantic movies -they are powerful sexual triggers!

2. Avoid friends who say dirty,lewd and obscene things. Stop all sexy banters with friends and say only things that are pure, holy, needful and helpful.

3. Get busy with your life, education and career, there is more to life than sex.

4. Transmute your sexual energy: Channel your sexual energy into something great.

5.Avoid pornography and romantic movies.

Masturbation is wrong, bad, demonic, destructive and sinful. Avoid it and end it with speed if you are deeply involved in it.

Follow us at SM @offeringsthought

April 25, 2020

Wrong Criteria For Choosing A Partner; Know Them

WRONG CRITERIA FOR CHOOSING A PARTNER 

 Most reason why most relationship shipwrecked is due to fact that: Either we don't choose right  or we used the wrong criteria to choose.
There are some criterion most of our relationship are built on but are not supposed to:.. in the world today most relationship are built on *physical appearance, social status, intellectual ability and financial ability.

A Must Read;
Great Message For All Singles
Wrong criteria for choosing a partner

1. Physical attraction: This goes so far, if couples build their relationship on such  a standard, its detrimental. So tell me what happens when physical beauty begins to fade, gorgeous hair turns grey or alopecia/ loss of hair..

Most guys will tell you, I want a lady with boobs, chaiii, so that I will be caressing it and sucking it.. what will happen when those standing alert boobs turn slipper one..?🤷🏻‍♂

Or I want the athletic abs, what gonna happen when he start having botbelly😅. If we want a happy, long term relationship, we should look far more beyond physical appearance/ simply physical attraction

2. Social Status; About social status, majority especially woman want their partner to provide them with everything needed in the society.. so they want to marry into a good family with money😅😅, a well respected family and influential individual...

All these can change often quickly, all it takes is a downturn in economy or a mistake in a poor investment to knock some down the socialladder.
Go with the purpose inclined with yours and not solely because of social status.

3. Intellectual Ability; Some choose because of intellectual ability, educational prowess of an individual.. I must marry a doctor or its nurse I must marry... ghen ghen😌.
What course does he study? Is he a graduate?? Is he an engineer? An oil mogul ??.

All this does not depict them giving you the needed attention or care in that marriage.. look beyond this

4. Financial Ability; The paramount one is the financial ability.. it's more important.  When you base choosing a partner on his or her financial means.. then you are on your own..

Can she support me with her money?.. can he take care of me?.. these are legitimate questions person in need of a lasting relationship ask.. but such individual must be careful they are prepared for the financial realities of married life. Financial means alone is not basis going into relationship or getting married.

READ ALSO;
How To Resolve Difficult Issues With Your Partner
Note; Our primary concern should not be how some look or what he or she does but what kind of person that person is..... appearance are deceiving.💥💥
All these a things we look for but they temporary, any of them can change in an instant

Individual here are born with talents and gifts but character must be developed and cultivated also nurtured over time.
So it's far more important to get to know that person before getting into a serious relationship .. stay with them long enough and the character will begin to show through. Be alert that outward behaviour is the reflection of his character

Solid character will reflect itself in consistent behaviour, while the poor character will seek to hide behind deceptive words and actions... pay close attention to this

Before you can do this, identify the qualities and character that you will hold as standard without compromise and then evaluate the potential candidate or incoming you meet with those standards of yours.

A woman may be beautiful but have poor character.. A man mayb cute, a business genius, making money all round but lacks common courtesy, sensitivity and compassion...
If we know the qualities and character that we re looking for in a mate, it will be much easier for us to recognize that person whenever he or she comes along.. and that depends the stay.

In relationship be careful, vigilant and conscious @OTR
👏👏👏👏👏
Follow us @offeringsthought
Timmy Offering 🔥

April 20, 2020

[For Ladies] Vagina Care: How To Care For It And Why You Must Not Neglect It

 Vagina Care: How To Care For It And Why You Must Not Neglect It

The vagina is designed to keep itself clean with natural, healthy vaginal secretions. You can keep your vagina healthy with the same things that keep your whole body healthy with regular hygiene and a good diet.

The effect of lack of vagina care

It is not until you have vaginal infection before your coochie can smell. If you don't bath or properly wash the folds of the labia, covering of the clit, the smegma (an oil substance) which accumulates can get acted upon by bacteria and the stench from it would be severe.

So, there's something we call smegma. It is an oily substance secreted by the sebaceous glands of the clitoris and the folds labia in women but is also secreted in men (wait for it in our next post).

Ordinarily, smegma helps keeping the clitoris and labia lubricated so that they don't undergo premature desertification and lose their immense influence. Cool stuff right?

But don't get too excited yet. Smegma can become a problem when then it accumulates (forming a white, cheese like deposit under the covering of the clitoris and in between the forms of labia) and gets acted upon by bacteria.

When this happens the resulting stench from the unholy alliance between smegma and bacteria can be quite serious.

Read Also;
Effect of using saliva as lubricate during sex.

So here is a quick tips for ladies...when you are washing or cleaning up, look out of the folds of labia. Open the folds and clean.
Also you can gently also retract gently retract of the clitoris and wipe off any deposits of smegma that has accumulated.

You can use mildly warm water to wash the VULVA(not the vagina o, vulva and vagina are different please)

The point is you don't have to contract STI or have bacterial vaginosis or any other vaginal infection before your yoni smells awful.

If you allow smegma to build by not bathing or cleaning up regularly, it smell offensive.

Follow us @offeringsthought

April 16, 2020

Effective Communication, Effective Tool In Marriage Relationship

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION, AN EFFECTIVE TOOL IN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP.  

To kick off, let’s talk about what true communication means in an intimate relationship:
Communication is simply the act of transferring information from one place, person or group to another. Which means there must be:*

A sender = the message = the receiver

The transmission of the message from the sender to the receiver can be affected by many things like emotions, background, tone, medium or even mood.
Effective communication, effective tool in marriage relationship

Communication can take place as spoken/verbal using words or non-verbal using body language (our body language is always communicating whether we mean it or not), gestures, facial expressions, actions or written using letters, emails, chats, social media, books or visualizations using pictures, logos, graphs etc.

🍑"Communication is the mortar that holds a relationship together," says relationship expert Dr. Amy Bellows. "If it breaks down, the relationship will crumble. When spouses no longer communicate, a marriage nurtures no one. It is no longer a marriage."

What engine is to car is what communication is to marriage.
Let’s take a look at the basic elements of Communication:

If you must effectively communicate with your spouse, then you must capture the following:

*SLUR* is an acronym for Speak, Listen, Understand and Respond. There is no effective communication without these four elements.

Learn to *SPEAK* in love, at the right time.

Learn how to *LISTEN* attentively. Don't interrupt your spouse when he/she is speaking. Listen also to what's not said. Pay attention to your spouse's body language too.
🔥Let’s talk a bit more about listening because this seems to be where we have lots of issues:

One of the most important communication skills is listening. Deep, positive relationships can only be developed by listening to each other.

Listening to respond is the standard way that most people communicate. What that means is that instead of really paying attention to what the other person is saying, you are already thinking about what you want to say in response.

Of course it’s great to have a well-thought-out reply, but if you’re thinking about what you want to say instead of hearing what the other person is saying, you aren’t really listening and communicating well.
 Learn how to UNDERSTAND your spouse properly by using the principle of mirroring.
Say something like this: “So, what I hear you saying is …” or, “Are you saying …?” Then, in your own words, tell your spouse what you understand to have been said. Then, the most important part of mirroring comes. You must allow your spouse to either affirm or correct what you’ve said.

*Learn to RESPOND rightly.*
When Speaking, Listening and Understanding are in place, the Response element is usually not the problem.

 The way you react falls in one of four response types:
Let’s say your spouse comes home excited about his/her power-point presentation at work:

 *Nurturing (active constructive)* “That is great! I’m so happy for you! Tell me more about it!”

 *Cold (passive constructive)* “Oh, that is good”

 *Ignorant (passive destructive)* “Sorry I don’t have time to listen to you right now”

 *Hurtful (active destructive)* “That’s surprising, you’re usually pretty bad at delivering presentations”
*So which group are you? Tell me the truth o*😀😀

Read Also;
9 STRENGTHS NEEDED FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Let's take a look at Communication issues (common mistakes couples make when communicating):

🔸Yelling at your partner

🔸Not listening to understand each other

🔸Blaming Each Other

🔸Degrading your Partner

🔸Thinking About your Point of View Only

🔸Judging what the other person is saying

🔸Being insensitive to your spouse’s complaint or feelings

🔸Reactive communication – everyone is talking and no one is listening
🔸Some people believe the more they repeat their complaints, the more their spouses will listen and act – wrong

🔸Harsh communication (tone and expressions) – this is non-productive, it stirs up strive.

🔸Being dishonest – even as little as saying you’re okay when you’re not

🔸Silent communication – the silent treatment never works, it just escalates things

🔸Dealing with conflict in public – this shows dishonour to your spouse/partner.

🔸Assumptions – assuming your spouse did something and dwelling on it instead of asking him/her

🔸Abusive communication – calling names , fool , stupid etc. I call it fighting dirty – it never works
Effective communication, effective tool in marriage relationship

Let’s discuss how bad communication can affect your relationship/marriage:

 1. You don’t look to each other for support and companionship

This might not sound like a big problem, but it really is. When you’re in relationship/married you should be the first person that each of you turns to for support, for help, for companionship and respect. When that is lacking then you may turn to somebody else out of necessity, and this doesn’t often end well – it always leads to bigger issues.
It can truly be frustrating when one spouse does not create a safe environment for effective communication

And truly the way to deal with this is to:

1. Have a heart to heart conversation with him/her (the online course will show you how)

2. Get him/her to enroll for courses like this and learn to do better

3. Go for counseling together
This may be the toughest but most likely the surest to work.

 2. Lack of communication in marriage/ relationship leads to lack of intimacy:  which can lead to divorce sometimes when there is nothing left to share, to talk about between two partners:

Everyone goes through rough times, but if you are aware of this and you make good communication a priority in your marriage then you will stay connected and ensure that you don’t head down the wrong path by losing each other.

Effects of lack of communication in relationship/marriage can be devastating to your relationship. It is important to identify and rectify all your communication problems in relationship/marriage before things fall apart between you and your partner.

3. Your work, home, and sex life will all suffer when you do not share your thoughts and feelings with your partner.
This makes it all the more important to learn to communicate with your spouse, even when the subject matter is awkward or uncomfortable.

4.Lack of good communication can also lead to money problems.
Money can be a touchy subject for most people. This topic may feel a little awkward to broach, especially if you are in the process of merging your finances or haven’t told your partner about any debts you owe. Whether you’re sharing a bank account or keeping your finances separate, it is still important to talk about your monthly expenses.

Couples/partners who do not talk about money matters may overspend, feel held back by not being the breadwinner, and end up in deeper debts than when they were single.
It is important for couples to discuss budgeting and to be open about their debts and expenses.

5. You become emotionally distant
The less you communicate with your spouse, the more emotionally distant you will become.
Talking is how you connect with your spouse. When there is a lack of communication in marriage, love also starts to fade.
One study on the behavior of couples, conducted over 40 years, found that the most common communication problems revolve around partner’s refusing to communicate (silent treatment), partner criticism, defensive communication, and overall contempt when trying to talk to one another – and these are called the 4 divorce predictors –

6. Results in wrong assumptions
When couples/partners are not open with one another it can be easy for them to start making assumptions. If you aren’t letting your spouse know you’ll be late at the office or are heading out with your friends after work instead of coming home they may assume you are doing something you shouldn’t be.

7. Your sex life suffers in marriage
There are many sexual problems that arise when there is a lack of communication in marriage.
For example, a lack of orgasm may result in frustration and can cause hostility and disappointment. Or one person may desire sex but feels incapable of making the first move. This can be frustrating for both spouses.

Couples need to have open and honest conversations about their intimate life and preferences..Sexual frequency, fantasies, needs, and turn-ons are all important conversations you need to have in order to create an equally satisfying sexual relationship.

8. You seek others to fill the void:

It is no surprise that a lack of communication in relationship/marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce. Couples who don’t talk to one another are nothing more than roommates.
Drawing away from your spouse in thought or action can be extremely damaging.
Feeling a lack of validation or that your spouse does not hear you or care for your needs can be discouraging.
This lack of respect and love can create insecurities, which might cause one spouse to seek someone outside of the marriage to fill what they feel their marriage is lacking.

A MUST READ ARTICLE;
Importance Of Communication In Promoting Healthy Relationship
How I helped clients work through their communication issues and some of the advices I gave them that worked:

🔸Stay Calm While Discussing:
While discussing some important points just stay calm and control your anger.
Remember better communication will lead to better relationships and marriage.
This way, you will have effective communication and can also understand each other’s point of view. When you are angry you cannot even present the true facts.

🔸Avoid reading your spouse's mind:
This can only lead to assumptions. Allow your spouse tell you what's on their mind.

🔸 Touching your spouse when communicating can do you both a whole lot of good.
Especially when having a deep conversation about an issue. A difficult time to apply this principle is after an argument has begun. Don't 😂😂
However, a perfect time is when you know you are about to sit down and have a discussion about something that might lead to tension.

You know what those deep topics are in your marriage/relationship. Maybe it’s a conversation about a specific child. Maybe it’s your in-laws or your finances or your low sex life.
Touching your spouse when communicating in a way avoids conflict and allows you two to be loving in your conversation.
A few of my clients tried this and returned with so much to laugh about.. Great positive reviews came from this technique. Would you try it today and let me know how it goes?

🔸Have Frequent Discussions:
Most of the couples talk less and that problem is known as “Lack of communication in marriage”.
Have communication frequently on a daily basis. Discuss your daily problems and their possible solutions. This is one key to effective communication in a marriage.

🔸Finally - to build an effective communication flow in your relationship/marriage, both of you must learn how to express negative feelings effectively. Most times we are quicker to express negative feelings than positive ones.

It is vital to the health of your relationship/marriage that you affirm your spouse more often than you share your negative feelings. So if you share negative feelings 5 times a week then the positive feelings should be 5times of that. YES you heard me😀. If your compliments exceed your complaints, your spouse will pay attention to your grievances.
_If your complaints exceed your compliments, your criticism will fall on deaf ears. As simple as that._

Lot of clients tried it.. it works.

Be careful, conscious and Vigilant (OTR)
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February 27, 2020

How To Resolve Difficult Issues With Your Partner

HOW TO RESOLVE DIFFICULT ISSUES WITH YOUR PARTNER. 

You will agree with me that before we get an issue to resolve definately there has been a conflict. Or let me say its due to a conflict.
There is conflict in all relationships. And by “conflict,” we specifically mean verbal disagreements and arguments. People disagree and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, you have the right to a different opinion from your partner.
How to resolve difficult issues with your partner

In a healthy relationship, communication is key. 
When you communicate effectively, you understand your partner better and make your relationship stronger.
When you can resolve conflicts or difficult issues successfully, you are developing a healthy, mature relationship. A conflict with your partner can make you feel attacked or threatened, vulnerable and weak, and this can make you recoil and retreat.

When things your partner does upsets you and you feel that you’re under siege or maltreated you’re less likely to respond constructively or use  the silent treatment. AND SILENT TREATMENT ultimately, do more harm than good. This will eventually cause your relationship to break down completely.

So when difficult issues spurt up. Break the pattern of hostility and give the conflict positive energy. Don’t get defensive; don’t hammer your point; don’t try to win. Difficult issues most time are opportunities for you and your partners to align on values and outcomes.

Read and Medidate(click)
What Really Brings Intimacy In Relationship?

They are chances to understand, appreciate, and embrace differences. Put yourself in your partner’s place and make an effort to understand his or her experience. These experiences and emotions can be uncomfortable, but if we always opt for comfort or not selfless, then we can never grow.
While conflict is normal, it can also be a sign that parts of your relationship aren’t working. If your conflict or settlement of difficult issues is based on which movie to see, or things not healthy or that doesn't make sense.. then there are lot to sit back and discuss.

There's a gulf between dating and marriage. While dating you can go to your house and not call your lovers for days depending.. but in marriage you live with them so, you cant just escape hitting some discussion which might go down well or the other way round.The problem/conflict at times is not really the issue. It's the patience and maturity that the situation on ground will require from us.
Your partner might be this deadlocked person.. they won't sha want to listen or bend...
But if you want a good healthy relationship here are some tips to help you so offence won't pile up in your mind.


  • When trying to resolve issues with your partner.. Start with a question and not blast them.Giving your partner the benefit to explain  themselves can help resolve the matter quickly.  Don't be sarcastic in your own tone. When you do, women / ladies pay attention to this wella😫



  • In resolving difficult issues with spouse. You need to humble yourself.. this involves both parties, you may be right or wrong. Try and let the emotion that will guide you be humility and not anger or pain. Let us learn this..



  • Also try to separate the issue from the person. Let me break it down.. You don't attack personality of your partner, like saying I know that's how you choleric behave.. bla bla.Don't say you're too stubborn , but say babe I think you need to listen to my own concern and part. Winks😌.We are all guilty of this act.. especially when we re angry.. let us change the change.

Great message for all Singles : A must Read(click)
How to resolve difficult issues with your partner


  • Also has an individual be willing to shift ground.. Men got lot of work to do here..Sometimes it's just because you have it your way that you're having it difficult this time. Do it for the family not for your own personal happiness alone..Some ladies will tell you, I just want to pepper him, he should sha be begging me.. 😂Put your drama, ego and status In the line abeg



  • In RESOLVING issues. Don't make reference to past issues. Ladies are more guilty here, you did this too last year oct/22/2019. That's witchcraft. Let the past be the past, adress the issue on ground with faith that progress is certain at the end.



  • This is also very important..Choosing the perfect time, location and even time to discuss the matter is expedient.

Don't  be brash or harsh. Talk to your partner like a boss. It's your co- boss you're about to talk to and not anyhow person and not your subject.
If you talk down at your partner as a human being, they might want to stand and defend themselves .So watch it.

  • Befriend your partner even in the midst of difficult issues.. that individual you deem fit you wanna be with. Where is the sweetness and euphoria of those dates you just met. Ignite this in your conversation, it help outs, bring back those erotic memories..

  • When resolving issues with your spouse.. State clearly your aim. Don't just start talking. Call them by their pet names. Honey, I want us to resolve this issue, so that it doesn't affect the family, relationship and our happiness and peace of mind. You will agree with me, most of our parents dont talk like this. That's why we re in relationship or married in this century so that we can learn the latest languages. So please use them.
Message For All Individual in Relationship:

Potential Pillars That Stabilises Relationship/Marriage

  • For married individuals kiss and touch your partner.. to the unmarried, hugging is permitted 😉.The end of a matter is better than the beginning. Please just shut the door and play some loud music that will reset the brain and alleviate grievance. Just to have a peace of mind.. try and resolve that conflicts, but when issues remain unresolved seek help from counsellor if need be..
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February 21, 2020

Great Message For All Singles

GREAT MESSAGE FOR ALL SINGLES

Hello Single ladies/guy who are used to doing awwnnn awnnn awwnnn to other people's relationship. Those who enjoyed other peoples relationship thriller videos on snapchat and twitter😂😂.

I just want to tell you to Love yourself darling.
Great message for all Singles

I know you must have heard this countless time but its really a big deal and thing to pay cognisance to if you want to succeed in your relationship and marriage.
Don't go into relationship and marriage just to escape from yourself  or because you're lonely or because you want to complete yourself or because my friends are in relationship.. Hell No

Love yourself and love being you and love being with you😉.  Then you won't just accept anyone who comes your way with stories. If you love yourself, you won't  be in an haste, you'll take your time to choose the best life partner for yourself.

Lot of people who sent DM from their words, they made mistakes in marrying people who turned out not to be a good person and they saw the signs while they were dating.. but you know what??
It's because they thought this person will change, the salient truth is that deep down they didn't love themselves enough to realized that they deserved better.

Your Singleness is a gift because you have the power to choose right. All you get to do, is get the reasonable standards and criteria to look for and sit back and relax..

Sex is not all married people do oo.. there are more and more to marriage. There is lot to know than the sex act, equip yourself to the task ahead so it won't be rush in and rush out thing.

Now you can take the time to do, so its critically important you get it right now. Now that you're single. You got to be properly single (learning lot of things at every spheres) before you can be properly married.

A must Read:
What Ladies That Prefer Married Men Should Know.

Don't be swap away by Aso Ebi loading from friends or proposal from that your social media followers.
Your life is different, same with your relationship life.. Say no to comparison. If you do then you're running another man race in which when your real partner is ready self you don help another person waka go..
Watch it, and get some sense..

Don't force any relationship simply because you're tired being single... or friends are getting married. Or love the idea of marriage.  I have lot of ladies, they will visit/ login to ring empire and continually download proposal rings, visit asoebi bella page and be watching videooo..
😂😂sister you will be tempted to give someone who doesn't know your worth a tryy.
Some people go into unknown hands because they are not getting younger, because my younger sister or brother is in relationship or married.

Go into relationship with your eyes wide open knowing fully well that the decision you make about a life partner will affect every other area of your life( good or bad)

Your Singleness is a gift to you.. it's a season of life that is crucial to your destiny. A person readiness to date is largely a matter of maturity and environment.
You're not ready to date until you're fully aware of both the benefits and dangers of dating.
Healthy relationship should always begin at the spiritual and intellectual level.. the level of purpose, motivation, interests, dreams and personality.

If you feel that you need a date in order to be complete or  fulfilled personally.. You're not ready to be in relationship.
Most people enter relationship with some sense of incompleteness or inadequacy..  know your worth, nobody will complete you if you enter that relationship.
You're ready to date when you have first learned how to be single.. so love this phase.
Great message for all Singles

*The time you're most prepared for dating is when you don't need anyone to complete you, fulfill you , or instill  in you a sense of worth or purpose.*
💥Build your relationship with God the father.

💥Do something with your single years_ find your purpose and walk/work in it.

💥Find course to take about marriage/relationship and other things you love.

💥Gain knowledge in the things you love even in the things you don't know how to do(nobody to bother you/ to give you nagging attitudes oo, or say so you can't call me since morning oo😂😂, that will give you an headache, learn courses online ICT, funnel training and advertisement and lot)

💥Build friendship and partnerships., don't just sit down in your room all day, expecting angel to direct partner your way, abi send manner of fine girls from above.. just be social, go on dates , meet new people online and offline, then discern wisely.

💥Do some volunteer services.. whatever you love that will add value to your life darling.

Powerful Article For Singles;Read 
WHAT SINGLES SHOULD KNOW BEFORE RELATIONSHIP
Singleness is a blessing and a perfect opportunity for character development. Learn to become an asset first. True Singleness is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. When you can be alone and enjoy it.. You're a self confident and self aware person.

So don't ever become so preoccupied by who you want that you forget to be who you're.
Build your self well in your single days, it will tell in your dating phase.. because the habits and attitudes established during the dating years are generally carry over into marriage..
To wrap it up here..
All I'm saying today is ENJOY YOUR SINGLENESS.  One day you will glad you did.

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