October 6, 2020

KNOW THE SKILLS NEEDED FOR HEALTHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

SKILLS FOR HEALTHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP 

Intimacy, security, respect, good communication and sense of being valued. These are some of the things that most people will agree make up for healthy relationship. I'm sure we all agree to this too.

And researches would agree too. There's a large body of literature on romantic relationships, that has identified the features of healthy relationships, and this list I just provided contains many of  them.



Researchers also agree on what makes for unhealthy relationships; things like fighting so much that you just can't work things out; not being able to go to your partner for support when you need it.

Contempt, criticism, hostility, violence. When these problem happen in relationships, they can cause significant unhappiness, they can lead to the end of the relationship or divorce, and they can literally make people physically & emotionally sick.

This is why it's so critical that people have healthy relationships. But there's a problem; how many people know, I mean, really know what to do in a day to day basis to create healthy relationship.?

My point is this; We may know what a healthy relationship looks like, but most people have no ideas how to get one and no one teaches us how to do so.

We need to teach people how to have a healthy relationship now.  But do you know when we typically do so? After it's too late; it's called "couple therapy". I do couples therapy and it can be wonderful thing, but many people came to couples therapy with so many ingrained problems and patterns that they just can't change. It's too late.

You know when else we try to teach people how to have a healthy relationship? It should be right before they get married it's called Premarital Education.

Premarital education is a good idea; teach people how to have a good relationship while they are still happy, presumably. Then relationship can work well; but to me or with my own opinion it's still too late. Why?? Because people have already selected the person they want to commit their life to.

What if they selected poorly? No amount of premarital education can make up for a bad partner choice. So the way we have tried to teach people how to have healthy relationships have been limited, because they failed to address 3 important things.

Genuinely knowing what you want and need in a partner & in a relationship, selecting the right person, and developing & using skills right from the beginning. I dont mean the beginning of a particular relationship. I mean the beginning-beginning like as soon as possible, just need to teach people especially the young people how to have healthy relationship.

A Must Read for Every Woman:

THINGS MEN VALUE IN A WOMAN MORE THAN THE LOVELY LOOK(Know Them)

There's a skills based model of relationship functioning, that I believe can help people create the things that lead to healthy relationship and reduce the Behaviours that lead to unhealthy ones. 

Identified 3 skills;

πŸ’¦Insight 

πŸ’¦Mutuality 

πŸ’¦Emotional Regulation.

 This skills form the basis for what we call romantic competence.  Romantic Competence is the ability to function adaptively across all areas or all aspects of the relationship process, from figuring out what you need, to finding the right person, to building healthy relationship and getting out of relationship not healthy.

This skills really represent the commonalities across the major theory and lot of research findings on healthy relationship. And I think they really can help people with all the different parts of the relationship process, and with all different people. Whether in relationship or not.

1. Insight

It's about awareness and understanding and learning. So with insight, you'll have a better idea of who you're, what you need, what you want, why you do things you do.

So let's say you are being really snappy to your partner.  With insight, you might notice or realise that it's not that your partner is doing anything but it's just actually you're really stressed out at work and what you really need is to relax a little bit, so it doesn't bleed out over into your relationship.

✨Insight will also let you know your partner better. Let say your partner show up late for a date; with insight you'll able know why. For example, maybe your partner is late for everything. It's nothing about you or the relationship.  That's just who your partner is.

✨With insight you will be able to anticipate the positive and negative consequences of your behaviour. For example; you'll know that if you send that nasty text, it's not going to go well; maybe you better make a phone call instead. 

✨With insight you'll be able to learn from your mistakes in a ways that allows to behave differently in the future. So maybe you'll recognize that you're the kind of person who tends to jump in things really quickly; you get wrapped up in the romance of things and then things don't go well. 

In other to be able to say/do well in the next time, I'm going to take things a little more slowly and not repeat same mistakes. That's insight

✨With insight you'll understand about what's really right for you in a relationship. Maybe you're the kind of person who really needs a monogamous relationship, you are not owk with your partner seeing other people or maybe you realise it's just the opposite that you're not ready to settle down and you need a partner that's owk with that.

2. Mutuality:

 This is about knowing that both people have needs an that both sets of needs matter.  With mutuality, you'll be able to convey your own needs in a clear direct fashion that increases the likelihood that you'll get them met.

Maybe you go through a fam stressful event, and you like your partner to be there with you, you might say indirectly. "You know this is going to be stressful for me, I would really love for you to be there; you'll be a really good buffer for me. Is there anyway you can clear your schedule to come with me?"

With mutuality, you'll be willing to meet your partners needs as well. Let say you know that your partner really likes to go to the fyn first thing in the morning, it makes your partner feel better throughout the rest of the day.

Mutuality will let you be willing to support your partner in this, even though you'd really rather have your partner stay home in bed with you.

✨And mutuality also let you factor both people's needs into decisions that you make about your relationship.

So let's say you get a great job offer that you'd like to take, but you know it means you will have to work more, and you know how important it is for both you and your partner to spend time together. 

With mutual approach, you might say; you know, I would really like to take this job, it really important to me, but I also, am concerned about us spending time together. If I promised to protect some time for us, will you be owk with me talking this job?

3. Emotion Regulation; 

This is about regulating your feelings in response to things that happen in your relationship. With emotion regulation you'll be able to keep your emotions calm and things that happen in your relationship in perspective;  You might think oh my goodness, this is disaster! This is the worst thing ever!! How am I going to handle this!!

But with emotion Regulation, you know what? I can handle this, this is going to be alright, there is a way to deal with this. I'm going to figure this out, everything is going to be owk.

With Emotional Regulation, you'll be able to tolerate uncomfortable feelings and not act not on them impulsively, so you'll be able to think through your decision more clearly.

So let's say you're waiting for your partner to text you back, that text isn't coming, you're getting really anxious. With Emotion Regulation (ER), you'll be able to tell yourself "calm down and be fine".

With ER, you'll be able to maintain a sense of self respect and commitment to your needs,  even when bad things happen in your relationship.

So let's say you have a break-up, you're feeling really depressed, you're really missing your partner, with ER, you'll be able to let yourself know that it's owk. That yeah, you're going to feel depressed but you're going to get over it and get through this.

If you beg and plead to get back together, you're not going to feel good about yourself and you don't even want to be in relationship that wasn't good for you.

I believe with these 3 skills with your ability to use the skills on day to day basis, will let you have healthy relationships.



How these 3 skills works

Some days back, I was talking to someone and she said that when her partner asked her what she wanted for her birthday, she told him she didn't want anything. So guess what?? She didn't get anything, and she got really angry and mad, and they had a big fight.

Why? Because she really did want a present, she just didn't want to tell him. She just wanted him to somehow know. It's called "mind reading" Its a terrible idea, it never works.

Had she be using this skills;

πŸ’¦ Insight would have let her know herself well enough to realise that she really did want something and if she didn't get it, she was going to be mad. Insight also would have let her know that her partner was the kind of guy who was just going to take what she said literally.

πŸ’¦ Mutuality would have let her really ask for what she wanted, directly and clearly.

πŸ’¦ Emotion Regulation would have let her deal with any feelings she was having that were getting in the way of doing that. She might not want to be greedy or something. 

Listen, So if she had used the skills, she would have been able to say; You know what? I know we are saving, but I really like that necklace that we saw the other day & it wasn't that expensive. 

He would have gotten if for her, she would have felt respected & valued.  He would have been happy. They would have felt more intimate and birthday thing would have go down well instead of fight that can really damage the relationship.

Must Read For those craving for A Relationship: 

LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; All You Need To Know Before Going Into A Relationship.

WHY YOU NEED TO BE ROMANTICALLY COMPETENCE

  1. Adolescents who are romantically competence tend to have a good relationship, they felt comfortable being close to people, they could trust people, they weren't worried of being rejected. 
  2. They are not depressed, they had better mental health. They are also more position about their expectations about marriage in the future. More optimistic that it could go well.
  3. Tends to engage in more typical romantic activities of their age. Things that are normative like dating and flirting and affectionate behaviour like hugging and kissing.
  4. If they grow up; the more adaptive relational functioning they were showing and the better mental health they will show. 
  5. More romantically competent men and women feel more secure in relationships. They also reports making better decisions. They can see the warning signs when things aren't going well and make conscious decisions with confidence.
  6. They are also better at seeking and providing support to their partners.  So they are more willing to ask for what they need and use what the partners give them.
  7. And they are better at providing helpful support when needed.  They are more satisfied in their relationships, they were happier, you hardly see them coming down with depressive symptoms and anxiety symptoms. 
  8. Being Romantically competent at young age or before going in a relationship is a associated with greater, more adaptive relationship functioning and greater individual well being. 

And this bring back to the point that we need to be teaching people how to have a healthy relationship. We may know what healthy relationship looks like but most have no idea how to get one and no one teaches us how to do so and this is the problem.

We want partner to be romantically competent with healthy act in relationship.

We need to help people genuinely know what they want  & need in a relationship. We need to help them select the right partner, help them make good decisions and deal with the challenges that relationship brings and we need to help them build and use skills right from the beginning. 

This is what the notion of romantically competence is about; using the 3 skills to reduce the Behaviours that lead to unhealthy relationship like fight, poor support, hostility & criticisms, violence and create the things that lead to healthy one like intimacy, security, respect & good communication and sense of being valued.

In relationship be Careful, vigilant and conscious @OTR 

Follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @offeringsthought 

August 16, 2020

World Most Dangerous Sex Style For Men.

World Most Dangerous Sex Style For Men 

Penile fracture is a rare urological emergency/condition that describes the rupture of the corpus cavernosum following direct, high-pressure trauma to the erect penis.

Surgical repair or surgical reconstruction is done in which  stitches are use to close the tear in the tunica albuginea and corpus cavernosum. 

The main goals of treatment are to restore or maintain your ability to have erections and preserve urinary function.


Listen to me ye doggy enthusiast and practitioners. Doggy style is considered the world most dangerous sex style in human because of its direct association with penile fracture. Doggy as we all know is responsible for a whooping 42% of all cases of fracture of human penis, followed by missionary style. Even the old good missionary style is dangerous. 

For male lovers who engage in aggressive, fast paced, vigorous coitus, doggy can become very risky and career threatening, I mean end your career as a womb shifter.

Since there is an increased risk of erected penis hitting the pelvic bone, especially when the dangerous organ slip out inadvertently. If you your penis slips out alot. Don't be doing doggy at high speed, when she's shouting choke me, or she's at the climax.. I repeat don't do doggy. 

It can slip out and as you thrust and barg to continue in sexual rhythm, you may miss the vagina's entrance and land on the pelvic bone. Your penis don break be that. 

A Must Read;

DIETS THAT BOOST SEXUAL PERFORMANCE


Another equally sex style is the style above. It can prove for the erect penis just as doggy is. The penis may slip out and striking the hard surface the lady is sitting on as the man goes pow pow pow. 

So if you're doing this, make sure you grab and pull her to the middle close to yourself so the chance of powerful organ slipping out and hitting the hard surface is significantly reduced. 

Penile fracture is not a joke and a child's play, so guys apply wisdom. 

July 28, 2020

DIETS THAT BOOST SEXUAL PERFORMANCE

DIETS THAT BOOST SEXUAL PERFORMANCE

Having a healthy sex drive is linked to feeling physically and emotionally healthy. So it’s no surprise that food can play a role in helping you get your groove back. I mean for you to be on track..
If you’ve hit a slump in the bedroom or extremely poor, it may be time to take a closer look at your diet. Lot of nutrients that can perk up your libido and may improve your overall health are just distance away. 
DIETS that boost sexual PERFORMANCE

The diets that boost sexual Performance;

1.Nuts and seeds. 
E.g Tiger nut, walnut, peanut and the like contains Zinc that help boost the testosterone level.
Showering your beloved with chocolates is a romantic gesture, but it won’t necessarily take them to new heights in the bedroom. Instead of candy, snack on a handful of nuts and seeds. 

Cashews and almonds are chock-full of zinc, while a host of healthy snacks contain L-arginine to get your blood flowing to the main organ that go help sexual performance. Walnut are double helpful in love performance, they are rich in omega 3, watermelon seed.

2.Garlic;
The pungent herb is a natural blood thinner often used to prevent high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and heart disease. 
The anticoagulant properties help ensure plenty of blood flow to your nether regions. You and your partner can both benefit from a healthy dose of garlic before an amorous evening.

If you’re both eating it, nobody will mind the strong breath. This should be taken often, you can take it in the morning too and have a cup of tea filled up with yogurt milk on top.. it does wonders.

A must Read;

3.Salmon;
Salmon is well-known for having heart-healthy omega-3 fatty acids. The pink-fleshed fish, as well as tuna and halibut, might be the key to enhancing your sex life. Omega-3s help prevent the buildup of plaque in your arteries, thus improving blood flow throughout your body.

More reason I said earlier, exercise is more in important in sexual performance.. stress the heart muscle to some length. Give it that strength to pump blood adequately through the arteries,.. 

Don't just sit in your room alone, its people like you that won't be able to explore in the room than missionary style alone.,  if you are, remember it's only you and and partner in that stage, we have moved pass that kind level.

4.Oysters;
One of the potent diet. It helps to raise testosterone level and oestrogen level. A boost in hormone production translates into heightened sexual desire in many cases. Oysters are also an excellent source of zinc, which aids blood flow to sexual organs in both genders.

Don’t care for mollusks? Go on lobster or crab instead. Both types of shellfish are loaded with zinc.
At least if you don't know any mollusk, you should know crabs. I'm sure majority of you have forgotten your animal biology. Sister you need it now.

5.Apple;
Why did you think they injected Abacha apple?. I heard say na one lady them set make she give baba.He want to eat apple and come knack.
This improve your love life. Apples, along with berries, cherries, onions, and dark-colored grapes, are rich in quercetin.

This antioxidant, a type of flavonoid, may offer a number of health benefits. As far as sex goes, quercetin plays a role in controlling symptoms of prostatitis and interstitial cystitis (IC), and it promotes circulation.

Prostatitis is the inflammation of the prostate gland. It sometimes causes testicular discomfort and pain with ejaculation. IC, or painful bladder syndrome, may also make sex difficult for men and women. Sexual-related symptoms of IC include genital pain, erectile dysfunction, painful intercourse, and low desire.

You can see one of the reason you tell me, Offering,  please I'm having a low sex drive, I don't have urge, it's always painful if they enter, who are they? Lolz

6. Meat;
Include a variety of meats in your diet to improve your sex life. Beef, chicken, and pork contain carnitine, L-arginine, and zinc.

Carnitine and L-arginine are amino acids that improve blood flow. Uninterrupted blood flow is crucial to sexual response in both men and women, these two nutrients may effectively treat erectile dysfunction in some men.

P/s; Serve up some animal based protein (in moderation, to avoid increasing risk of heart disease) to help keep all systems running smoothly in the bedroom. Vegetarians can opt for whole grains, nuts, and dairy products.

READ ALSO;

7. Red Wine;
This one seems pretty obvious. A glass of red wine may help ladies get in the mood. Sexual Medicine Trusted Source showed that one to two glasses of red wine a day increased sexual desire and lubrication in women, making them tipsy.

Red wine contains quercetin, which might account for the positive response. Researchers noted that drinking more than two glasses of red wine daily or indulging in other types of alcoholic beverages didn’t produce the same results.

I have lot of ladies who are good here... let me rest my case... Like have you wonder why most guys when they go clubbing or outing.. they order for meat and wine???

Note: While certain foods can keep your blood pumping and boost hormone levels, diet alone isn’t always enough to improve your sex life. Speak to your medical practitioner if lack of desire, pain during intercourse, or impotence is holding you back from enjoying an intimate relationship with your partner.

PHYSICAL ACTIVITY AND EXERCISE

Now, 'physically healthy' as it is used in this article means you being physically fit, engaging in active and passive exercises that help to increase strength and endurance. Some people find it hard to jog for 10 minutes without running out of air, they end up very tired and breathing like a giraffe. Sexual activity is a test of strength which involves exertion of energy. Therefore, one has to be physically fit and strong in order to last long in bed. 
This also includes kegels exercises which helps to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles.

Another important factor is your emotional status. Sexual activity is best enjoyed when both participants are happy and in an healthy psychological state, a state of no stress and in readiness for intercourse.

Remember, it's good to exercise, helps you adopt healthy habits so you can lose weight and keep it fit. Your program is customized to your goals and fitness needs. Just take a quick assessment and get started today, exercise daily. 

More reason I said earlier, exercise is more important in sexual performance, stress the heart muscle to some length. Give it that strength to pump blood adequately through the arteries.

Don't just sit in your room alone, don't be in the 'missionary only' category. And if you are, let me shock you, it's only you and your partner that's left in that group. The rest of us have gone past that level.

In Relationship, watch, be careful and be [email protected]
Follow us at Instagram/Twitter @offeringsthought 




June 27, 2020

How To Keep My Vagina Save

HOW TO KEEP THE VAGINA SAVE

To maintain a healthy vagina you must know what to do to avoid infection and it is equally important to educate your sexual partner on some of them to also help you help the vagina.
How to keep my vagina safe

Here are some few things you can do or avoid.

1. Fingering
During foreplay or romance, as part of it some people insert their finger or fingers into the vagina. The question is, how many people wash their hands before sexual intercourse?

 Some people do not even keep their nails clean so it gathers a lot of germs and during the fingering, these germs are deposited in the vagina...leading to infection. Same thing apply to autopleasure acts or masturbation.

2. Anal sex
I am not here to tell anybody to have anal sex or not to but I simply want to draw the attention of those who engage in anal sex with the opposite sex that it is dangerous to have anal sex and continue having penovaginal sex.

 If this is done, the penis will pick bacteria from the anus and deliver them to the vagina even if you are using a condom....which will lead to infection.
A Must Read;
MASTURBATION; What You Need To Know, It Effects And Way Out. 

3. Quest to make the vagina TIGHT
Some guys complain bitterly about the vagina of their sexual partners. They complain that it's too big and they no more feel any sensation during intercourse.

Some ladies are therefore pushed to find a quick solution and in the process some use herbs or other substances in the vagina with the hope of making the vagina tight. Some of the substances cause infection or sepsis.

Some of the herbs can cause the vagina to get tighter to the extent that penetration is no more possible. This will require treatment.

4. Douching
Some parents, when bathing for their baby girls put warm water in a milk tin or dip a towel in the warm water and pour the water through a hole made beneath the tin or squeeze the water out of the towel into the vagina of the baby. This is sooooo WRONG as it can damage the hymen.

Some parents also insert ginger or pepper or both into the vagina of adolescents as a form of punishment. This is sooooo WRONG as it can lead to infection.

Some people are use to bathing by adding dettol or other detergents to the water and they put this solution inside the vagina with the help of sponge or towel or just the hand with soap to clean the vagina. This is soooo WRONG as it will change the normal flora in the vagina, leading to infection.

5. Use of water closet
Some people have the habit of not sitting on the seat of the WC when using it so they end up urinating on the seat. The possibility of picking infection when using it in that condition is high. Don't let your pant be at the thigh level when using the WC especially the public ones as the inner of the pant may rub the surface of the WC.

Where the water is not running and people have used but have not flushed and you don't have any choice but to also use it, use enough toilet roll to cover before using the WC to avoid any splashes on the vulva.

6. Washing and drying
Develop the habit of disinfecting your panties frequently...depending on the number of pants you have. Keep exclusive panties to wear whenever you are menstruating and don't mix those panties with your regular panties.

Pay particular attention to those panties when washing. Ensure that the panties are made of cotton and are dried in the sun or well ironed to kill germs.

Click and Read;
[For Ladies] Vagina Care: How To Care For It And Why You Must Not Neglect It

7. Change sanitary pads
Some people try to economize the use of their sanitary pads so during the period they tend to still wear the pad because there is little or no blood. This is soooo WRONG as it can lead to infection.

NB: If there is any bad scent from the vagina or there is a discharge coming from the vagina then it might be an infection which you have to get it treated.

Help save the vagina by ensuring that you get the message to as many friends as possible. Help save the vagina by getting the message to your sexual partner or ladies.
Follow us on Instagram/Twitter @offeringsthought 

June 12, 2020

Engagement And It's Rules; All you need to know


ENGAGEMENT AND IT'S RULES

An engagement or betrothal is the relationship between two people who want to get married, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage.

During this period, a couple is said to be fiancΓ©s betrothed,intended, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. Engagement, as a stage in the process leading to marriage, is greatly misunderstood in our day and age.

By and large, our Western culture generally devalues the importance and significance of engagement as a preparation time for marriage.
There was a time when both couples and their parents took engagement very seriously, but those days seem to be fading fast.
Engagement and it rules

In the minds of many, with love degraded to little more than sexual activity, and with so many unmarried couples living together and having babies out of wedlock, a formal period of engagement before marriage seems increasingly pointless, a quaint tradition of the past with little contemporary relevance.

A Must Read For Everyone;
LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; All You Need To Know Before Going Into A Relationship.

Indeed, with the institution of marriage itself under such fierce attack in many quarters, a formal period of preparation beforehand appears to many as all but meaningless.

The traditional view of engagement as serious business is well-founded in history. It is only in the last couple of generations that engagement has been all but dismissed as irrelevant. Modern society seems always on the lookout for new trends to follow and new standards by which to measure customs, attitudes, and behavior.

I'm sure we will all agree to this... that engagement in those days are not same with the engagement during this dispensation. Some even take it as a joke now. In addition to being an important time of preparation for marriage, engagement was, in effect, the first stage of marriage.

Biblical people who were engaged were regarded as already married, although not to the fullest degree. Full consummation of the marriage, such as living together and sexual union, did not occur until after the wedding ceremony and celebration.

The engagement period, which traditionally lasted up to a year then, was a time for both the man and the woman to make practical preparations for joining themselves to each other in the fullness of the marriage relationship.
Engagement was contract time, when the families of the couple came together and formally established the marriage covenant, agreeing to release their children to each other.

This was much more than the man and woman simply saying to each other, *“I commit myself to you.”* A binding contract was involved that could be terminated only by formal dissolution through divorce.
Things are very different today, although we still maintain a vestigial link to the past through the tradition of the man giving the woman an engagement ring as a symbol of his commitment to marry her.

At the wedding, a second ring, the wedding ring, is given as a symbol of exclusive commitment to each other for life in the marriage covenant. The engagement ring is a remnant, a reminder of the way things used to be, of a time when engagement was a much more serious affair than it is today. Nowadays engaged couples break up all the time. All a fellow has to do is say to the young lady, “I want my ring back.”

The young lady also can initiate the breakup by simply returning the ring. Usually there are many tears and a lot of hurt. A broken engagement can be very traumatic for both people because engagement was never designed to be terminated so easily.

Engagement is the period when the marriage covenant is established between a man and a woman. An ideal one

It is a time for deepening the friendship and spiritual oneness that they should have developed during their time of dating, as well as a time for growing in the practical, mental, and emotional areas the soulical part of their relationship.

Thoughtful Article for all Women; Read
How Can I Love My Man?

During engagement, the couple should be learning to think and act as one in anticipation of the day when, after the wedding, they consummate their union by joining together physically to become one flesh.
A common attitude among engaged couples today is, *We’re just testing the waters.*
That’s why we’re engaged. We want to see if our relationship will work out. Lolz

Engagement is not the time for testing the waters. That’s what the dating period is for. By the time a couple reaches the engagement stage, they should already have tested the waters.

They should already know whether or not their relationship is going to work out. Their engagement should not be a trial period but a public testimony stating, We have chosen each other to join together in marriage for life.

We are now in a time of making practical preparations to ensure that when the wedding day comes we will be ready in every way to help guarantee our success.
Engagement and it rules

Rules Of Engagement 

But I'm sure we really know what engagement mean and what exactly it entails now. Now to Engagement Rules.

1. The cost or quality of the engagement ring is not what determines the success of a marriage.

It's the level or quality of commitment from both parties that counts. Dont spend fortune on an expensive engagement ring when you're both not committed to making it work; its gross waste of resources. Don't fool yourself, be resourceful. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

2. Public proposals are sensational but so also is public embarrassment. Be sure you guys have talked things out and through before you stage a surprise engagement else you'll end up being the one in for a surprise at the end of the day.
However, the beauty of an engagement setup is still that element of surprise, plan with sense and with intellect.πŸ‘Œ

3. Don't let your love for each other take a backseat for wedding preparations. Keep your conversation broader than just around the wedding planning. Use it as an exceptional time to lay a solid foundation for the rest of your shared life together.

In short, don't propose and let the love die.. some will go one neglecting their partner because to say I don propose., at least we are both sure we are getting marry. Let the love abound the more during this period.
Engagement and it rules

Singles Corner; Read and Digest
Wrong Criteria For Choosing A Partner; Know Them
Keep dating each other. Don't start to taking your relationship for granted because you are engaged. Dont stop wooing each other. The work is staying in love should continue throughout your lives and there is no better time to practice than while you are engaged.
4. Build good marital habits during this season of engagement. Sign up for a marriage course, most churches and organisations do organise this. Pay for counselling sessions if you have too, build this life.

This so much goes into merging two lives, and any time or money spend during this period is worth it.  All this preparation gives you clue to what marriage is all about and possible conflict and how to resolve or go about lots that might likely sprout up.

5. Be totally honest with your future spouse. This period is the time for discernment. It's the time to show the your future spouse who you really are.  It's the time to let your guard down. It's the time to let him see what you look like not wearing any makeup or those trainer and boobs lifter and bum protruder. 🌚🌚
Most importantly..

6. Be realistic in your expectations. These differences of opinion , interest, temperament and personality can be magnified In married life.

 Be sure you can embrace and love your future spouse the way they are now, not who you hope they will become someday. If you can't, it's safe to walk away.  A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage.

7. Lastly... Engagement is not a license to continually bang him or her on bed; an practicing different styles.🌚🌚 Don't start wedding sex or sleeping around in the name of engagement. Decide on what suite you best.
Avoid a very long or too short engagement. To me, 6 months to 1 year is just good enough.

In Relationship be Conscious, Vigilant and Careful @OTR

Follow us at Instagram/Twitter and Facebook @offeringsthought 

May 30, 2020

How Can I Love My Man?

HOW CAN I LOVE MY MAN? Things to do.

Loving a man is not an easy thing. Whether he's your husband or the boyfriend you're falling for, it's important to know how to make your man feel emotionally and physically satisfied while staying true to yourself at the same time. If you want to truly love a man, then you've got to know how to make him feel loved and appreciated while also respecting his independence and also your own. 
How can I love my man

These are the recipes on how to love your man. Let us start with this..

1. RECIPROCATE 
As a lady, make efforts for your man too, go miles for him, in as much he does for you too. Ask him how his day went, don't just wait until he talks. Saying since you don't talk I'm not asking any fucking questions. Stop those childs play, ask him what went wrong during the day.

Love him hard as well, unless you're with that guy for sare wagba, or due to some things maybe unknown to me, love him as jesus loves the church, and spice it up erotically😁.

2. PATIENT 
And to add to this, be patient with him, men are human and equally emotional. Be patient and also be reasonable, not everytime drama with fast and furious voice. Do and calm down lady, learn to exercise this, if you really want to love that guy.. Reciprocate all these.

3. FREEDOM 
Give him this freedom to do the things that he likes. Don't box him or chock him to the neck. If he's acting in a way you don't like, call him to order and talk about it, not just talk to him in a nagging way, it won't change anything, and he will definitely go ahead doing those things you still don't like. But remember, if he truly loves you, he won't do things that will hurt you.  


He has a life to live sweetheart, so don't choke him and don't take that away from him. You're not his own world, he's a separate entity, but you're part of his world. So give room for that partnership to flow without rancor.

4. UNDERSTAND HIM
Remember he will never be perfect, because he's not a perfect being. So don't expect perfection from him.
So, at some point he will be inconsistent, and sometimes impatient, just chill for one corner, just smile and keep mute, sip your drinks.


You will agree with me, that sometimes it will hard for him to handle your moodswing, he's likely to get angry at you sometimes, and his mood too can change as well. Reason is that, he's not also perfect,  so have this at the back of your mind and prepare yourself to understand him.
How can I love my man

5. RESPECT HIM
You have to respect him, does not matter the age difference, level or rank you are. Respect is reciprocal, and it should also be mutual.
So respect his choices and decisions. When you're not please with any of his decisions, have a place of togetherness, and have a good approach to handle and sort things out amicably.


At times, your man might go on, to do those things at your back, but when it backfires, next time he tends to respect your take too. Give him the respect that he deserves, even when you dim fit why should I.

Must Read;
LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; All You Need To Know Before Going Into A Relationship.

6. GIVE ATTENTION 

Like you, he needs your attention too, same way you think you deserve them. Don't get too busy for your man, or don't give those I want to make my self unavailable, putting on moody attitudes and I won't pick up his calls saga so he can miss me and know my worth. Mummy wa, ko necessetry now.

7. REASSURANCE 
He just need your reassurance as well the's the only one for you. Let this be a daily thing, because men most time keep to themselves and lot flows through their minds, when he talks and when he doesn't,  reassure.


This will negate him having a feeling of doubt towards you, because the attention and care is embedded here. And babe, don't give him reasons to doubt you. Don't act like me too have gotten guys chasing me up, talking romantically with them on or off their presence, let me do my thing in my own way thing... But o wrong now, you don't need it. 

8. ACCEPT HIS IMPERFECTIONS:
There will never be a perfect man same applicable to woman. At some point, you will get disappointed and upset because he didn't behave or become that man you expect him to be.
Lolz😁😁, this do cause lot of kasala, but sister,  calm down and handle this with care.
Just because you love him you should accept every bits of him, not the bad and toxic behaviour though. But if you think that man worth the risk, keep him, no perfect individual out there.

Sometimes,  we want to be understand so much , that we forget to understand men as well. Take your time to know the man you're in love with.
If you're a lover of the bible/Quran, study and meditate on him, same way you do to those scriptures. And if you're the jayejaye lady, all those strength you put on your paparazzi, channel it on him to know him more too.

Click and Read;
What Ladies That Prefer Married Men Should Know.

As a lady, try to learn about some secret obsession every man has inside of him. Learn more about this and start creating strong and long lasting relationships with your man.
πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Timmy Offering♤♧
In Relationship be Vigilant, conscious and careful @ OTR

Follow us on FB, Instagram/Twitter @offeringsthought

May 25, 2020

LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; All you need to know before going into a Relationship.

LIFE BEFORE RELATIONSHIP; THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE DATING. 


We are not new to the word relationship..
Even a Neonate and toddler if asked, can tell you one or more salient things about relationship.

Relationship can made you whole and can destroy one life.. depending on how you handle it and things you know about it in order to stabilise it.
And we all know life itself as what we re on earth to live with.. what our goals and focus should be is all we want to achieve in life.
Life before relationship

So if care is not taken. If one missed it in marriage relationship, then it can affect ones life for ever. And you will agree, the choice of your partner has a long way to go, in you also making it in life.
But this days.. majority of youth or people are not even after the productive life of a thing... all they think or want is just the relationship, some think since I'm old enough or I'm done with secondary school.. I can date, I can have a lover and things should start from there.

The priority of an individual is productive life first, getting to know your goal and passion. Know who you are first, what are your weaknesses and your strengths, your personality and your temperament, your zodiac signs and lot more.
Although falling in love is easy, perhaps too easy, relationships take work.

A lot of work. It's nice to think that you can sail through them with the same ease that you sailed through the falling in love process.

There is some very important groundwork you should lay before getting into a relationship with someone,"

In other words, there are things you want to cover in order to get that groundwork laid down securely. So exactly what should you do before you get into a relationship with someone, that is if you want to make it last?

Read This Article:
Wrong Criteria For Choosing A Partner; Know Them.

From timing and expectations to evaluating your religious identity and leaving the past behind, lot of salient keys to understand before you get into a relationship with someone.

Get your priorities right, your education is far more important, don't risk it for a relationship, because education is part of your life.

Don't be sway away by relationship and fail your preferred courses in school.

Don't allow puberty infatuation lead you astray.
When you get it right first with yourself ,the so-call partner will locate you and the chemistry will flow well than what you even least expect at first.

If you think getting into a relationship will make you “whole” or “complete,” think again.

So many people enter into a relationship thinking the other person will have the ability to make them happy, when in reality happiness starts from within.
If you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship get your self a life that worth emulating first.

Firstly, you must understand the magnitude of a relationship. 

Let me break it down: what it is and what it means for you.
Then you have to do some real soul searching:
πŸ‘Are you ready for the sacrifices,
πŸ‘the energy, and effort.
πŸ‘ Once you’ve done all of that, the last thing you should do is make room in your life for them.
πŸ‘Get rid of the habits, lingering situations, and friends who won’t be conducive to your relationship.

Yes, relationships are cute. You get to face every adversity and tackle every one of life’s puzzles with a partner.

But in turn, that comes with certain compromises to the current life as you know it.

It’s easy to get so enthused about the idea of a relationship that we don’t take into account the shift our actual lives go through.

Our hearts may be ready for a relationship, but that does not always mean our lives are.

Long distance, a demanding workload, school — there are countless oppositions to a relationship that is out of our control.
But it is our responsibility to evaluate our lives in a way to make that responsible decision.

But all this narrowed down to when you have search and gotten yourself right too, your purpose and goal on track, if not fulfilled.
Why try and force a relationship when you know you don’t even have time to commit to owning a time to even your self or fulfillment of life it self?

Furthermore, we have to honestly assess our motivations.

What’s more of a priority to you, her or that work position?

You can really want something with that guy or lady, but will you resent the time it takes away from studying for that CPA exam? Or your work or the your goal finding?

For you to be successful your timing is necessary, so it's not only about the relationship but about the time to balance things.

Yes, going into a relationship with this special person would be the right thing to do. But there are certain factors you need to note before starting out.
Let us give in rapt attention here...πŸ‘πŸ‘

1. Become Who You Want to Be.

Step one is to ask yourself if you are the person you wanted to be growing up. What attitudes do you admire in other people?
What are your personal weaknesses? Make a list if you have to of all the personality traits you would like to have and get to work cultivating them. Practice makes perfect.

Its is called working on one self..that is the first life an individual should know and get
If you dont do this, failing or heartbreak is inevitable in that relationship.

2. Become Self Aware.

How do your actions affect others? What are some things that you need to work on?
Try to do this without being too critical. Outside of a relationship, what kind of person are you? What kind of partner are you when you’re in a relationship?

These questions are important to ask before you enter something serious. Knowing yourself inside and out will only help build a better foundation with your partner. It’s not just about getting to know another person, it’s about getting to know yourself too.

3. Create an Amazing Life

If you aren’t excited about the life you are living why would anyone else want to be a part of it?
Do things that make you happy and get you excited for each new day. Find things to look forward to and share them with the people around you. Make your life looks like enough fun. If you're a boring individual why will you also go for someone boring too, get to equipped that life, read books, attend seminars that that boost you up and help your life..
Life before relationship

4. Pursue Your Passions  and Make Them a Priority

It’s incredibly helpful to already be on the path of pursuing your passions when you enter a relationship.

I count myself among the lucky few who have a clear career path and life goals in mind and am in the process of obtaining them.
But we all know that life doesn’t necessarily work that way. Whether you are in the midst of working towards your goals, or just discovering what they are, or just pursue them on the side for personal gratification, whatever makes you tick should not be pushed aside when you enter a relationship, or at any point during the course of it.

When the “we” mentality starts to take over it’s easy to put your passions, desires, and dreams, on hold. Don’t!

It’s completely doable to find a healthy balance. Whatever you were passionate about before you entered your relationship is still there, having a partner just adds an amazing person to your corner to cheer you on. And, if they don’t support your dreams and passions, they are not worth your time.

A Must Read;
How To Resolve Difficult Issues With Your Partner.

5. Inclined with passion is Goals.
It’s not enough to know what your goals are. You’ll want to have an actionable plan when it comes to achieving them. The right partner will help you achieve those goals, but you knowing those goals is the pivotal thing my dear.

Sometimes your aspirations can get lost in the mix of a new relationship if care is not taken.

6. Leave the Past in the Past or check your baggage

Everyone has had things happen to them that they would rather forget, but not everyone has baggage. Memories only become baggage if you dwell on them and refuse to move on.

What are you holding onto? How does it affect your ability to love and be loved? The common saying, “check your baggage at the door” is often easier said than done.

Your past traumas, experiences, and relationships absolutely affect your current one. Healing isn’t linear, and even if you know how these experiences affect you, sometimes it’s still difficult to leave them out of your current equation.

Learn to let go of the people who are no longer in your life and forget the ones who let you down. Move on and set your sights on the horizon. Move on, don't look at the family past, or how your parents relationship ended or not glowing or if it's about someone close by.

Remember we all got different journeys and life. Your life is different, so also is your relationship life.

7. Get Organized.

When you feel like you are in control of your life you will be more confident and more attractive. Organize everything. Be self confident, bold and courageous. Take care of yourself and look cute and lovely. If you get little apartment, make them look neat and dope, the little things or clothes you get, make them ironed and look gorgeous.

Trim down your friends list too. Those who are not productive to your life, let them go.

No one wants to be in a relationship with a panicky scatterbrain and dull individual, spice your speech up and things about you. Get it together, man/woman.

8. Learn to Accept Other People
One of the toughest things you learn in life is that other people don’t exist to satisfy your expectations of them. Accept other people for who they are and learn to embrace their flaws.

A good relationship is one where both people can feel comfortable and at home. Judging people is a great way to get them headed for the door.

9.Timing to go into relationship.  
Be convince enough to, discern wisely, get to know that person.

Have you attained something reasonable? What are the things that relationship will fetch you, and what are the things you're ready to give too.? Dont just go into relationship because waoo, she has boobs, chaiii ukwu, or I love the beard gengs guy.. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Also on Time
Relationships take time. Getting to know someone takes time. If you are in the middle of a college degree and working part-time, or if you are in the midst of a strenuous career, you might not have the extra hours to dedicate to getting to know someone.

This may well be one of the most important factors in letting someone into your life.

This point please πŸ•ΊπŸ•Ί

10.Improve Your Communication Skills.

Another skill that benefits all aspects of your life. Sometimes relationships are awkward and you have conversations that leave you wanting to open mouth anywhere else than that moment.

Being able to communicate your wants, needs, and what can be improved are the building blocks of a healthy, lasting relationship. Lack of communication creates rifts of misunderstanding and sometimes puts your wants and needs on the back burner.

Being able to articulate clearly what exactly you mean is an admirable trait, and will create a strong foundation to any relationship, not just romantic.

So before I go..
Brother and sister in the Lord.πŸ˜‚Lovers of boo and bae.
Build yourself a solid foundation that will attract life and souls, have self grooming, let those vision and purpose, dreams be on your map. Start a work on them.

Don't let anyone sway you away with I love you, I love you thing.. ask some salient questions on dates, get yourself some reasonable standards and principles so when the right person cross your path. You will know them..

In Relationship be Careful, Watchful and Vigilant @OTR
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