July 12, 2019

Help Me!!, I Found The Good In The Ugly, But My Relationship Is At Stake


Find the good in the ugly

As a young lady, I was very beautiful and beauty paved many ways for me. Going through school was easy. I went to a College of Education and I met my husband there. We were just friends while I had another man friend who was just acting like a father to me.

I had no parents and this man took up my parents' responsibilities. He did everything that a father should do for his daughter, paid my school fees, paid me visits at school, scolded me whenever I went wrong. In a nutshell, he saw me through school.

After my NCE, he adviced that I proceed to the University for my degree, but I was already eager to get married and I told him what I wanted. He agreed and singlehandedly sponsored my wedding. Along the line, he relocated to America but we still kept the communication line open.

The initial part of my marriage was turbulent and the man was always at hand to help.  Some years ago, he came to Nigeria and invited me to visit him in Abuja. I told my husband that I was going for a seminar and I was there for a whole week.  Within this period, one thing led to another we had sex several times, despite the fact that there was never a sexual relationship between us prior to this time. We just couldn't resist each other.

He went back to America and for the first time, he lamented and wondered why on earth he had not married me, going by the fact that he was already a widower when I was in school. I began to love him too but there was  nothing either of us could do.

In 2016, he asked me to make a choice whether I wanted a house, a car or to start a business. I told him I couldn't make any of the choices because I wouldn't know how to explain it to my husband. He then told me to apply for a loan at the bank.  He helped me with his connection to secure the loan, which I used to start a business.  He was the one paying the money back but at least, my husband didn't suspect anything. It looked like I just took a loan.

A year later, he came home for one of his son's wedding. He ensured I was fully involved. All his children see me as their father's girlfriend and they all rallied around me. Don't forget that my husband saw him as my adopted father too, so attending the party and sleeping over was not a problem. After the party, we slept together and had sex again.

The second day, this man took me to a site where he was building a house in my name. Some months later, he finished the building and handed it over to me. Again, he said I should just act like the caretaker of the property which is what I'm doing till date.

Just last year, the man died. His children made me involved in the whole burial like his wife. I handled everything. To my husband, I was burying my father and to his children I was burying my husband. After the burial, the children met and decided that since none of them is coming back to live in Nigeria, I should just handle all the properties on their behalf. We opened a common account for all of them where I remit all the proceeds as they come.

Now, this is where the problem started, the last of the children who is a female came home for her wedding. She called me and told me to handle everything like a mother would. I agreed and we did everything very well, but unknown to me, my husband got to hear our conversation. He also bugged my phone to the extent that he knew all my calls and chats to them. Since then, he has refused to either sleep or have meaningful conversation with me. Aside children issues, we don't say anything to each other. When I couldn't handle it again, I asked what exactly I did  wrong and his answer was "nothing, except you want to tell me something you think I should know", "are you hiding something from me?"

This is my problem, should I tell him what happened, or should I not tell him? If I tell him, how will he react? If I don't, what will happen to my marriage? As it stands now, I can't even enjoy the wealth because there's no way I can explain it to him, the money is just piling up there in the bank.

Friends, please find the good in this ugly situation, no insults, no attack, just your advice. Thanks..

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