June 12, 2020

Engagement And It's Rules; All you need to know


An engagement or betrothal is the relationship between two people who want to get married, and also the period of time between a marriage proposal and a marriage.

During this period, a couple is said to be fiancΓ©s betrothed,intended, affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. Engagement, as a stage in the process leading to marriage, is greatly misunderstood in our day and age.

By and large, our Western culture generally devalues the importance and significance of engagement as a preparation time for marriage.
There was a time when both couples and their parents took engagement very seriously, but those days seem to be fading fast.
Engagement and it rules

In the minds of many, with love degraded to little more than sexual activity, and with so many unmarried couples living together and having babies out of wedlock, a formal period of engagement before marriage seems increasingly pointless, a quaint tradition of the past with little contemporary relevance.

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Indeed, with the institution of marriage itself under such fierce attack in many quarters, a formal period of preparation beforehand appears to many as all but meaningless.

The traditional view of engagement as serious business is well-founded in history. It is only in the last couple of generations that engagement has been all but dismissed as irrelevant. Modern society seems always on the lookout for new trends to follow and new standards by which to measure customs, attitudes, and behavior.

I'm sure we will all agree to this... that engagement in those days are not same with the engagement during this dispensation. Some even take it as a joke now. In addition to being an important time of preparation for marriage, engagement was, in effect, the first stage of marriage.

Biblical people who were engaged were regarded as already married, although not to the fullest degree. Full consummation of the marriage, such as living together and sexual union, did not occur until after the wedding ceremony and celebration.

The engagement period, which traditionally lasted up to a year then, was a time for both the man and the woman to make practical preparations for joining themselves to each other in the fullness of the marriage relationship.
Engagement was contract time, when the families of the couple came together and formally established the marriage covenant, agreeing to release their children to each other.

This was much more than the man and woman simply saying to each other, *“I commit myself to you.”* A binding contract was involved that could be terminated only by formal dissolution through divorce.
Things are very different today, although we still maintain a vestigial link to the past through the tradition of the man giving the woman an engagement ring as a symbol of his commitment to marry her.

At the wedding, a second ring, the wedding ring, is given as a symbol of exclusive commitment to each other for life in the marriage covenant. The engagement ring is a remnant, a reminder of the way things used to be, of a time when engagement was a much more serious affair than it is today. Nowadays engaged couples break up all the time. All a fellow has to do is say to the young lady, “I want my ring back.”

The young lady also can initiate the breakup by simply returning the ring. Usually there are many tears and a lot of hurt. A broken engagement can be very traumatic for both people because engagement was never designed to be terminated so easily.

Engagement is the period when the marriage covenant is established between a man and a woman. An ideal one

It is a time for deepening the friendship and spiritual oneness that they should have developed during their time of dating, as well as a time for growing in the practical, mental, and emotional areas the soulical part of their relationship.

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During engagement, the couple should be learning to think and act as one in anticipation of the day when, after the wedding, they consummate their union by joining together physically to become one flesh.
A common attitude among engaged couples today is, *We’re just testing the waters.*
That’s why we’re engaged. We want to see if our relationship will work out. Lolz

Engagement is not the time for testing the waters. That’s what the dating period is for. By the time a couple reaches the engagement stage, they should already have tested the waters.

They should already know whether or not their relationship is going to work out. Their engagement should not be a trial period but a public testimony stating, We have chosen each other to join together in marriage for life.

We are now in a time of making practical preparations to ensure that when the wedding day comes we will be ready in every way to help guarantee our success.
Engagement and it rules

Rules Of Engagement 

But I'm sure we really know what engagement mean and what exactly it entails now. Now to Engagement Rules.

1. The cost or quality of the engagement ring is not what determines the success of a marriage.

It's the level or quality of commitment from both parties that counts. Dont spend fortune on an expensive engagement ring when you're both not committed to making it work; its gross waste of resources. Don't fool yourself, be resourceful. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

2. Public proposals are sensational but so also is public embarrassment. Be sure you guys have talked things out and through before you stage a surprise engagement else you'll end up being the one in for a surprise at the end of the day.
However, the beauty of an engagement setup is still that element of surprise, plan with sense and with intellect.πŸ‘Œ

3. Don't let your love for each other take a backseat for wedding preparations. Keep your conversation broader than just around the wedding planning. Use it as an exceptional time to lay a solid foundation for the rest of your shared life together.

In short, don't propose and let the love die.. some will go one neglecting their partner because to say I don propose., at least we are both sure we are getting marry. Let the love abound the more during this period.
Engagement and it rules

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Keep dating each other. Don't start to taking your relationship for granted because you are engaged. Dont stop wooing each other. The work is staying in love should continue throughout your lives and there is no better time to practice than while you are engaged.
4. Build good marital habits during this season of engagement. Sign up for a marriage course, most churches and organisations do organise this. Pay for counselling sessions if you have too, build this life.

This so much goes into merging two lives, and any time or money spend during this period is worth it.  All this preparation gives you clue to what marriage is all about and possible conflict and how to resolve or go about lots that might likely sprout up.

5. Be totally honest with your future spouse. This period is the time for discernment. It's the time to show the your future spouse who you really are.  It's the time to let your guard down. It's the time to let him see what you look like not wearing any makeup or those trainer and boobs lifter and bum protruder. 🌚🌚
Most importantly..

6. Be realistic in your expectations. These differences of opinion , interest, temperament and personality can be magnified In married life.

 Be sure you can embrace and love your future spouse the way they are now, not who you hope they will become someday. If you can't, it's safe to walk away.  A broken engagement is far better than a broken marriage.

7. Lastly... Engagement is not a license to continually bang him or her on bed; an practicing different styles.🌚🌚 Don't start wedding sex or sleeping around in the name of engagement. Decide on what suite you best.
Avoid a very long or too short engagement. To me, 6 months to 1 year is just good enough.

In Relationship be Conscious, Vigilant and Careful @OTR

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